And the First Pick of Kia will be ....

The first pick in the second round of the 2014 PBA Draft will be ... the Pambansang Kamao Congressman Manny "The Pacman" Pacquiao!

What the ....

It can happen you know. As long as Kia is in the Philippine Basketball Association, anything as in anything can happen.  After their application for a PBA franchise was approved, the team appointed Congressman Pacquiao as their Head Coach. And now Manny, who could also a future Philippine President, is applying in the 2014 PBA Draft so that he can be a playing coach for KIA just like the Living Legend Jaworski who was Ginebra's playing coach a generation ago.

PBA where amazing  err RIDICULOUS happens! 

The 2014 PBA Draft would be the a perfect time for Gerald Anderson, Jose Manalo, Vice Ganda, Piolo Pascual or any other famous John Does to apply as a  PBA player because there is a big chance that KIA will draft them because of their star power.  Bobby Pacquiao can actually join the fray to make KIA more of a family affair. Heck, Mommy Dionisia could even join just make the KIA family complete. If ever this showbiz line-up materializes, I would call the team as KIA Carnival or Karnabal to make it more Pinoy and sound appropriate. 

Until now, I cannot fathom why KIA joined the PBA but here are some outrageous conspiracy theories:

1. KIA is financed by Floyd Mayweather because he wants Pacquiao to just concentrate on coaching and playing basketball rather than challenging him every time the Greatest Filipino Boxer gets interviewed about boxing. It is in the interest of Mayweather that Pacquiao will risk having a high ankle sprain while defending a Mark Caguiao crossover. Maybe Mayweather will probably next pay the Extra Rice pair of Belga and Quinahan to give Pacquiao a rude welcome.
2. KIA was ordered by the South Korean Government to destroy the PBA brand of play. The South Koreans are still brokenhearted because they are not able to participate in the 2014 World Cup in Spain. They were eliminated by the Smart Gilas during the FIBA Asia Cup semifinals which a win would have sent them to the World Cup. 
3. KIA actually stands for Kilusan ng Intelihenteng Atleta which will become a national party in the 2016 elections. Manny Pacquiao will run for President under the KIA banner.  His VP candidate will be Jaworski. His senatorial line-up will include Bata Reyes, Paeng Nepomuceno, Mikee Cojuangco-Jaworski, Phil Younghusbang, Cong. Yeng Guiao, Onyok Velasco, Jimmy Santos, and Joey Marquez. 

KIA is fast becoming my favorite team and I will devote so many posts in this blog for the PBA's Koreanovela (KIAnovela). Petronovela is so 2013. In a marketing standpoint, KIA is actually doing all the right moves. The are probably the most talked about team in the PBA right now save for the Gilas whose supposed "Last Stand" became a glorified warm-up. 

I wonder how many wins will KIA get in their first season? Will they be KIA every night? KIA meaning Killed In Action???  Will they be the "UP Maroons" of the PBA?

I have so many questions now about KIA that I will definitely write about as the season goes.

1. Who will have the ignominy of being the first ever team beaten by KIA? 
2. How many seasons will pass before KIA ever beat San Mig Coffee? 
3. How many points will Pacquaio make this season?
4. Who will be guarding Manny Pacquiao when he scores his first career point in the PBA?
5. Who will have the guts to be the first to foul, block, and steal the Pacman?
6. How much Pacquiao's insurance against injury?
7. How many wins will Pacquiao have as a coach?
8. How many years will it take before Pacquiao gets fired or retires from either coaching or playing?

I have so many questions already and I am very excited that it will all be answered soon. I really hope that Ginebra San Miguel will not spoil the master plan of Kia by drafting Pacquiao in the first round since they can claim that Pacquiao is also an endorser of their product. They might just do it and hold Pacquiao hostage and force KIA to trade their first round picks in the next 3 years to get Pacquiao. 

What would stop them? Well, anything can happen in the PBA and the league has grown leaps and bounds with the entry of Kia! Mabuhay ang KIA!!!

**This post is a satire and a result of an imaginative mind

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Kia appoints Manny Pacquiao as Head Coach and what should KIA's nickname in the PBA

Wow! The pambansang kamao has really transformed himself from a one dimensional brawler he became a world champion then became an all-time great then he became a governor then a congressman and now a PBA coach.  The KIA franchise of the Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) has just named him as their inaugural coach. Manny Pacquiao will be the coach of a team composed of discards and rookies next season. 

A lot of fans are not happy with the decision.  Many felt that they are more suitable than him as the head coach of Team KIA. What does KIA have to lose in hiring Pacquiao? Nothing, I guess, because next season the new teams in the PBA like KIA, Blackwater and possibly, NLEX will be getting scraps as players.  They are not expected to contend for a championship as the old PBA teams would not allow them to directly hire rookies. Not even one. Unlike when Tanduay, Red Bull or Rain or Shine joined the league, they were allowed to bring in the top non-professional basketball players. Don't expect these teams to reach the final 4 unless some freak trades happen. 

KIA who happens to have no nickname yet has everything to gain with this stunt. Pacquiao has several assistants anyway.  Who is the head coach of San Miguel Beer? Isn't the Beermen ran by a coaching consultant instead of a head coach?  Head Coach in the PBA can just be title just like a Chairman of the Board of some companies.  Pacquiao will probably look cute wearing a coat and tie or barony while shouting or cheering his KIA boys to score.  I hope he develops a temper like Yeng Guiao and start shouting some Visayan invectives to players or challenge opponents and referees to a fistfight.  I am sure no referee will try to mess around when KIA is playing. 

So if you were to name the KIA team, what should be the perfect nickname? Kings are taken by Ginebra already.  Kamao is the nickname that the Pacman is pushing for. They could be Kidlat but Meralco are the Bolts. Maybe Kangkong for they will probably spend most of the season at the cellar of kangkongan. Kalabasa? They can name it after of their brands like KIA Carnival because their team and season will be like a carnival so many interesting sites to see. They can name it after car parts like Pistons -- although they will be like that militant jeepney drivers association, Turbo -- Shell used it before, Tambutso, Radiator, Alternator or Side Mirror? If you have thought of a nice name, KIA has actually a contest to name their name.  The person behind the best 5 names will win a trip to NBA game.  Nice prize! It could attract many Filipinos who wants to be TNT to try to name the KIA team. Go, go, go before your unique name will be entered by someone else. 

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